Day 75

Shelter in Place Day 75
It’s a long one folks.

I lost it yesterday hard, friends. I knew it was going to be a long day of errands. UPS, PetCo, Twice Baked Bakery (Gluten-Free Bakery), Trader Joe’s, Staples, and Costco. We get up every morning at eight for The Husbear’s meds. Then we usually fall back asleep and wake at 830 for me and 9 for him.

The day was going well, he’s got an online Kvetch session with other professors at 11, and I was planning to go out and get the UPS and Staples out of the way. I take my trolly with me, the thing is I don’t leave until 1130, the line at UPS was long, so. I stopped at Petco first. They were open for shoppers so I zipped in and out, UPS was empty picked up two packages, oh and I was helped by the girl who doesn’t know how to wear her mask as it’s always below her nose. I was expecting at least four. I stop at Staples and they were open with masks. Got my package we’d ordered and headed home.


The trolly was helpful because the cat litter was heavy. The Husbear asked where the other UPS items were and he got on the phone to complain. They found the packages and set them aside for me. He also complained to the manager about the woman wearing her mask incorrectly. She said she knew who we were talking about and would have a talk with her.
We got in a little bit of a fight, he’d been moving paper to trash or shredder or to save and it was a lot of paper. We argued over what food we were getting and I’ve been short about a lot of things, and I’m so damned tired all the time.

I was hangry, we’d only had bagels with cream cheese and a handful of cherries. So I suggested, I’d go to Chipoople, pick up lunch, stop at UPS and head home. Did I mention it was hot out today, heavy marine layer holding the humidity close? Cool thing, the girl at Chipoople remembered me and switched out her gloves without me asking. Got the food, headed to UPS to get the remaining two packages. I get to the garage and as I’m finagling everything, my Goddamn lunch falls through the bag to the ground. I lose it, “Mutherfucker! I hate this place.” I’m shouting and I find a bag in my car to put the lunch in. Thank you Chipoople for the aluminum cover.

As I walk into the foyer of my building the cleaning woman looked scared. “Is everything all right?” I said, “Yeah, just dropped my lunch.” I get it upstairs and I drop the box in the trolly, toss the other package on the couch and barely make it to the kitchen as the other bag began to rip. I get the food into bowls, just as the Husbear has a zoom call. I wrap the lid around his bowl to keep it warm. As I begin to take mine in to my office, he asked after his food. It’s a small fight, but I’m losing it. I can feel the stress of this pandemic looming over me. I put my food down, get his and get to the office to watch the first episode of Filthy Rich on Netflix.

I still have to head out again. I have to pick up Challah, we decide that Costco is out today, and I said good I’m getting tired. We make a plan, he’ll throw out the paper trash and break down the boxes, I’ll do the shopping and he’ll meet me in the garage with the trolley. I do the things, long drive to challah, I’m drinking water. I remember to put on my mask with the little tissue doohickey along with nose and it works great. I get the Challah and an amazing strawberry trifle.

I head to Trader Joe’s and it’s like my Waze is taking me through the cornfields to get there. I’m getting frustrated and I get to Trader Joe’s and get everything I needed. Got to my favorite cashier, we chatted, it’d been so long. I looked over and a guy had his N95 mask just below his nose. I loudly said I’d feel better if people just wore their masks right. She agreed and told me a story of an older couple she knew. Where the guy had cut a hole out of his N95 at his nose and his wife dropped her scarf once inside.

Laurie and I bumped elbows and I breathed a sigh of relief because I was done. But, I wasn’t done, I had to cleanse everything. I get to the garage and The Husbear isn’t ready, he’s tired from the lifting, he’s out of breath and I’ve got to go to the bathroom all of a sudden. I lock the car and head upstairs. Where I run into him, I explain my need and I race past him. It’s the beginning of the end for me. I barely make it, and I’m tired and exhausted and I’ve still got to get the groceries. I can hear him wheezing and apologizing and I wash my hands, put on the damn mask take the remaining boxes he couldn’t get in the trolly, and head down.

Get the boxes in and start loading the groceries. Of course, it didn’t all fit, but I placed things around. I get upstairs and I’m struggling, I’m wheezing myself. I’m hot, I’m angry, I’m frustrated and I lose my shit when I walk in the door. I mean, deep racking sobs, I screamed. “I’m sick of wearing these masks, I’m sick of having to wash my hands, I’m tired of going shopping once a week alone. I’m want to pop in for two things I forgot, but it’s not easy anymore.

The Husbear lets me sit there and cry, lets me sit there and rant about it. At one point I apologize for being hysterical, and he says it’s ok. You just have to cleanse the food, empty the dishwasher and then you can take a shower and head to bed. “Empty the dishwasher?” I ask

“So I can fill it again.”

“Fine.” I get up and lay the groceries out, spray with 10% bleach to water solution, flip them over and dry them, put them away, and then I unload the dishwasher and after I put the last thing away he says.

“Now, take a shower and get in bed, I’ll wake you at a quarter to seven.” When I got to the room, he’d pulled the comforter back and after the shower, I pulled on new jammies and fell asleep. Seven hours of errands and a total pandemic meltdown and I got an hour nap that calmed me down.


Have you had a pandemic meltdown yet?

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