Day 93

Shelter in Place Day 93
I Love You Without Knowing How

That is the title of my absolute favorite Pablo Neruda poem. It sounds beautiful in Spanish. I’ve loved this poem since I first discovered it. I passed it off as a poem by one of my vampire characters, I used portions of it in a story I wrote. I look for the words every poetry month, I read the poem to him on our second date, and I sent it to him when I went out of town once, so he knew I was always with him.

I need to take this time to thank my Husbear for putting up with me. For sitting in a parking lot for 10 hours, I forgot that I had to sit in the waiting room for a while. For my mood swings when I was raging on sugar and stress and exhaustion. For my new mood swings because we’ve removed carbs and sugar from our eating.

I don’t know what I would do without him. My dream of being a full-time author came true these past three months, and what I discovered was that I loved spending time with him. Sure we get on each other’s nerves, but we have our own spaces and that has helped.

He’s willing to go on this new eating challenge with me. We’re discovering new foods we hadn’t previously considered eating. We’re figuring it out together instead of one of us just saying, this is what we’ll eat.

After being together for nearly eleven years and married for almost six, I can still say I love you without knowing how… I love you because I know no other way.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how,
or when,
or from where.
I love you straightforwardly,
without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Have you discovered things that you love about your partner?


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